MOM: Who is this child who is annoying me?

LAURANCE: Who is the woman calling me son?

MOM: Would you stop leaning on me kid?

LAURANCE: Can I play my Game Cube now?

MOM: Not before you eat?

LAURANCE: (leaning on me with all his weight) But I want to play it now.

MOM: (narrowing my gaze at him) If you keep bugging me kid, I will take it away and you won't be able to play with it at all.

LAURANCE: NO! I want to keep it!

MOM: (faciously) How about a good beating instead?

LAURANCE: (emphatically) NO! It's against the law.

MOM: Come on, it won't hurt much, and besides it builds character. I know because my mom told me so.

LAURANCE: Mom, you cut that out.

MOM: (spanish accent) Ahh, you take away my fun.

LAURANCE: (No sooner does MOM turn her back and LAURANCE reaches out and pops her on her bum.)

MOM: Laurance Donaughvan that hurt.

LAURANCE: But it builds character, that's what Granny said.